A guest post by my good friend and loyal supporter of HIA, Matt Schenck.
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When it comes to my sobriety people ask me all the time, “How did you do it?” The honest answer is simple. I made one single, simple choice. I chose to have a relationship with God and from that one single, simple choice God has given me the most incredible gift, the gift of grace wrapped up in this thing we call sobriety.
Lance asked me to write a guest blog and his suggestion was to write about what sobriety has given me. The most honest answer is that as God gave me this gift of sobriety, in turn he opened up the door to a relationship with Him. And from that relationship, everything else came…
Sobriety has given me life! I am no longer dead, I’m alive and kicking!
Sobriety has helped me overcome excuses. Most people do not know this, but addiction has taken two of my uncles from this life so I accepted at some point that it was some sort of family thing in one way or another. But that was just the addict side of me making excuses. Today, I don’t have to make excuses, I can make the choice to push beyond any limitations that my predispositions my impose and move forward with confidence.
Sobriety has given me a relationship with my daughter. A relationship that is more powerful than anything I could have ever imagined.
Sobriety has given me relationship with my parents that involves trust now. In fact, sobriety has bolstered every relationship in my life.
Sobriety has helped me learn how to make better choices. Today, I feel like the choices I make have some integrity behind them. Yes there are days that occasionally a selfish choice slips in, but all in all I’m making good choices today that I am proud of.
Sobriety has given me Goosebumps! Yes, that’s right that little bumps on your skin that appear directly after a tingle shoots through your veins. For years I didn’t have them, probably because the opiates had me so numb I couldn’t feel a thing.
Sobriety has given me a voice. The fact that I have an opportunity to share my testimony and in doing so, it might change just one person’s way of thinking. That’s incredible and it blows my mind. I could go on for days about all the positives!
With all these wonderful gifts, one of the craziest things God has done is put me in a job that I never thought I would be trusted to do. I get calls from The White House, I get to work at places like Silver Dollar City and experience Cirque Du Solei. It’s an incredible job and sometimes I feel like it’s a dream. I can’t believe these people trust an addict to fix their issues. Crazy huh?
But with all the positives about the job, I occasionally fight negative feelings towards it. This is where I realize that the hardest part of staying sober is myself. When things aren’t going like I think they should, I quit praying for direction and for Gods will as it pertains to my job. Furthermore, when things aren’t going as I have been promised or my way at all, I find myself building huge resentments towards the people that make the choices that are outside of my control. As the resentments grow, I find the path of least resistance for my thought process is to automatically start convincing myself that a drug would make me numb to all I’m angry with. It would make everything better because I just wouldn’t care. Man, addiction is a sneaky thing when I make the choice to not involve God in my choices.
But today, when those feelings arise I can quickly look back on all the great things sobriety and God have given me and begin to correct my thinking.
I use my job as an example of something that can be so positive as long as I involve God in it. This can go for any part of my life from relationships, chance encounters, family life and any other situations I may stumble across.
In the end when I pray, hold Gods hand and let him guide me I find that I come out with acceptance and a smile on the other side. But first, I have to make the choice daily, and that is why the hardest part of staying sober is ME!
