Last week I announced the winning cover for my new book, “Finding Hope”. This week, as promised, I’ve included a snippet of the first chapter of the book. I hope it gives you a taste of what you can expect with the real thing. Which by the way, you can pick up on August 14th at Night of Hope OKC or on Amazon.
Chapter 1: Why This? Why Now?
I was deep into my addiction the first time my dad asked me an important question.
I was probably easily taking 40-50 pills a day, cashing out IRAs left and right, stealing cash any chance I could get, and rummaging through my girlfriend’s jewelry, hoping to find something that might bring $20 or $30 at the pawn shop. (I’d later find out she’d already shipped all the real stuff back to her parents because she knew I’d eventually start looking).
I was in real bad shape when he asked me, “Son, have you ever thought about going to AA?”
I looked up at him sharply, dozens of excuses running through my mind.
Which one should I use? I thought. I’ll need to keep at least two or three excuses in reserve in case he asks me again in a few weeks.
I had no idea what AA was, why I should go, or what addiction was all about.And honestly, I don’t think my dad did either.
I quickly circled back around to the thought of just telling him I would go, and then bailing once I left the house.
And that’s just what I ended up doing.
I didn’t totally mean to.
I wound up searching Google for some AA meetings in the area, found one with a convenient time, and took off toward it with plans to attend. But those plans only lasted a few fleeting moments. At the last minute, that evil voice in my head told me I didn’t really have a problem, and that lots of people snorted prescription pain medicine that wasn’t theirs (even while at work!).
And I believed the voice in my head.
Instead of a meeting, I ended up in the electronics department at Wal-Mart, watching the same jaguar run in slow motion across an African plain for 45 minutes. I loaded back into my car, drove home, and of course, about a half-hour later, my phone rang.
“How did it go?” my dad asked.
“Uh… great,” I said, trying to expand my lie with some details that might make sense, but that I could easily remember. I quickly settled on, “Yeah, uh, they were really nice and told me to come back next week.”
He bought it, and that was that.
The first real encounter with recovery or sobriety my dad and I really ever had was now in the books. We both did what we naturally knew to do: he suggested something he thought might help and I lied.
Neither of us knew anything about the issue we were facing, but this story is a great example of what most parents or spouses try to do for their loved ones—and what most addicts do in response.
Unfortunately, if we’re going to see ourselves in this story, we must also see that this line of thinking simply doesn’t work. No one I know has found recovery because of a casual suggestion, and no parent can help their child when the relationship’s baseline is dishonesty.
Tempted to give up? Throw in the towel? Throw up your hands in frustration? That’s okay. That’s natural. But don’t stop there, because there’s hope!
Sure, you might be asking yourself right now:
How do I help my loved one get help?
What can I do to help mend the brokenness in my family?
What should I tell them?
Who should we call?
What do we DO? We need HELP!
I promise you this: we will get there! But first things first. We have to talk about the WHYs before we can move on to the WHATs.
Check back next week as I release on last preview of my new book! So stay tuned and make sure you don’t miss anything by signing up here to receive my emails.
Save the Date – The new book “Finding Hope” drops on August 14th!
Hope is Alive!