Forgiving Me

I feel like it’s been too long since I opened up and shared something personal. So here goes…

This is a letter I wrote myself 17 days into my rehab stint a few years back.

Dear Lance,

This letter is really not easy to write at this moment. The pain you inflicted on so many people still lingers. For the longest time I was confused & angry at you for continuously repeating the same mistakes over and over again. You have hurt so many people who rely on you, especially those two kids that need you the most. You let everyone down.  You put your children in horrible positions. You lied to your family. You cheated your employer and stole from your friends. Others you forced out of your life completely never allowing them to be anything but afterthoughts, deterrents to your mission off getting high. Pills took over your mind and never relented.

You don’t deserve the love and forgiveness that the majority of these individuals have given you. But I hope that you see that if those that you hurt the most can forgive you. Then you need to seriously begin to embrace the concept of forgiving yourself. 

Lance, you are controlled by a sickness that is incurable. Do you realize that? If so, trust in what you are learning here. Understand that a true acceptance of powerlessness is releasing your past, surrounding to God and forgiving yourself. You must do this every day.

So with this said, I want you to know that I forgive you for everything you did. All the illegal acts, the lies, the pain and the hurt you caused others. I release you from it all. I love you and can’t wait to see what you do next. 

Your biggest supporter,

Lance

This letter was the beginning of a long process of forgiveness. I share it not to gain any acclaim or bring about attention, but for these two reasons.

  1. To give me strength and encouragement. It’s good to see where I was and compare it to where I am today.
  2. To inspiring many of you to do the same. Forgive yourself.

You deserve to catch the feeling of freedom that comes with forgiving yourself. The release of pressure that comes with letting go of your past mistakes, your screw-ups and impulsive decisions. Don’t let the past hang around your neck forever. You are not your  mistakes. Releases those weights you’re carrying.

You can overcome whatever is holding you back right now. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. A unique person set apart to do great things. If you’ve fallen off the wagon, came up short or messed up again. It’s ok. We all do it. Start your journey back to being all you desire to be by forgiving yourself today.

-Write yourself a letter

-Write a note to yourself in your phone

-Take one minute, look in the mirror and say….. I forgive you.

There is freedom on the other side of forgiveness…

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