This past Sunday at our weekly house meeting I ask the men of Hope HQ this question:
Why is the holiday season challenging for guys like us?
Here are some of the responses I got.
– It’s hard to be around my family when I’m the only one NOT drinking
– Some of my family members still don’t trust me
– This used to be a time of year where I would get really high because I had a little bit of money
– I get depressed because I miss having a family.
The more we talked the more I realized how critical the holiday season can be for so many addicts and alcoholics. For years we’ve medicated through the next few weeks. Drink after drink, pill after pill, shot after shot. Numbing the harsh reality of our situation or circumstance. But now for many of us, we find ourselves like an open wound, vulnerable and underdeveloped. We’re sober, but in some cases still very raw and unstable.
I know that’s the case for me. The past couple Christmas’ has sent me through some really depressive times. Primarily because I’d never gone through the holidays as a divorced man, without his children and without medication. So all the emotions were new and fresh. I had to deal with them head on, with no relief or path to run away. The reality of my choices and my life were finally hitting me. And it was not easy to get through.
This year I tried to talk about it more. I mentioned it in AA meetings and acknowledged it to myself a time or two, but even while doing so I’ve still had a couple days where my spirits have been down and my hope felt like it was slipping away.
So what’s our remedy? How can we face the holidays with our heads held high and our emotions steady?
Here are a couple thoughts…
- Don’t Coast Through Christmas – I think we must make a concerted effort to not coast through Christmas. What I mean is we can’t sit back and let the traveling, time off work and family gatherings get in the way of the routine, program and accountability that has helped us get to where we are today. If anything, we need to ramp up our program during the holidays. More meetings, more reading, more accountability, more inventories, more church. Instead of coasting, kick it up a notch!
- Focus On What’s Ahead – Instead of allowing the holidays to push you off balance, let the attraction of a new year pull you into focus. With a brand new year less than two weeks away now is the perfect time to begin thinking about what your goals will be for 2014. Get intentional over the next couple weeks and draw at least three goals for the New Year. Make sure they are measurable, attainable and time bound. This forward thinking will help to keep you out if the emotional drain of the holidays.
These are just a couple of the tactics that I am using to stay in a good place this Christmas. But what about you? Do you have anything you could share with us to keep us headed in the right direction?
Please share your comments with us below.