I will never forget the first time someone asked me, “What’s wrong with you?!” I had stolen some pills, okay, a lot of pills, from someone who had just had surgery. I didn’t even think about what I was doing at the time. All I was thinking about was getting high and not getting sick. It was a means to an end for me. Basically my thought process was…
- I know she has pills
- I know where she keeps them
- I think I can steal them
- I’m going to do it.
Sounds horrible now, but at the time it made a lot of sense. Well the family caught me stealing the pills and berated me for hours. They called me all kinds of names like weak, stupid and talked about how no one in their family had ever had problems with pills (they were all saints). It was a sucky day and one that I dealt with emotionally for years.
I think this little story sums up the mindset of most addicts and most loved ones of addicts. The addict rarely thinks about who will get hurt or the consequences yet only focuses on themselves. The loved ones on the other hand looks at us from the outside looking in and thinks what is wrong with them? Both parties seem to be blind to what’s really going on. We are all living in the forest, yet we can’t see a single tree.
Our collective vision of a drug addict needs to change. True help and hope for the individuals suffering and their families can only begin to take place when we begin to see the situation clearly. So today I’ve listed 4 traits about addicts that I believe will be eye-opening.
4 Things Drugs Addicts Are Not:
- Weak
Drug addicts are not weak. We are not weak minded, weak emotionally or even weak physically. It’s quite the opposite in fact. We are strong individuals, who are willing to endure great pain and sacrifice to get what we want. We are not weak mentally, we’re conniving, manipulative, crafty people who can artfully weave together the best of plots and schemes. We are not weak emotionally, rather we consistently use emotionally laden stories and situation’s to gain control over people.
- Stupid
Drug addicts are not stupid people. We are some of the best and brightest men and women on this planet. Most of us were very talented in school before drugs made their way to dominate our lives. We typically excel in the arts and science and have naturally captivating interpersonal skills which come in very handy when dealing with drug dealers and the like. We aren’t stupid we just sometimes fail to fully engage our intelligence.
- Honest
Drug addicts have a real tough time being honest. My dad commonly says that dishonesty is the number one trait of an addict. I would agree. We will lie about anything and everything. We’ll lie about our past, we’ll lie about our jobs, we’ll lie about our health, we’ll lie about the weather, we’ll lie about where we’ve been, we’ll lie about where we’re going. There are really no limits to our hypocrisy. We will lie about whatever, whenever, however if it serves our purpose.
- Ourselves
Drug addicts, when in active addiction are most certainly not themselves. This is the true revelation that can change your entire perspective on addiction. Whether you are an addict or a loved one of an addict, when you begin to wrap your mind around this pivotal thought, things change.
For loved ones:
When we are drinking and drugging, we are not the children you raised. We are not the boy you taught how to ride a bike or the little girl you watched go to prom all pure and innocent. Something has changed us, something has come over us and we are not the same. As scary as this may come across this is actually good news. Because if you come to terms with the fact that your loved one is not their true self the you can begin treating them as such.
I’ll break it down a little differently. If your healthy, active and relatively well behaved sixteen year old son was immediately diagnosed with a life—threatening illness, what would you do? Well most likely you would begin seeking out doctors, going to see specialists, changing his diet, watching his activities closely, monitoring his sleep and all kinds of other things. You would start treating him differently because something about him had changed and changed drastically.
This is the concept that most parents don’t grasp for years and years. It causes lots of pain and costs lots of money.
The question posed to me that day I stole the pills rang in my head for years. “What’s wrong with you?” Today, with the gift of time, I can look back and answer that question. I was sick, I will ill, I was not myself. Maybe this insight will help you in your situation.
If you’re family is struggling with an addiction issue I’d like to invite you to a family support group class hosted by Hope is Alive Ministries. It’s specifically for loved ones of addicts. Find out more and sign up here: www.FindingHope.Today
With Hope,
-Lance
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